PRIVATE!
Dear Diary...
I began keeping a diary in 1991. Apparently, I had tons of secrets for a six year old. I got my first diary for Christmas- It was shiny white soft plastic with hearts on the front and an industrial strength snap button that served as a lock. I remember sitting on the landing of the living room steps and writing my first entry. It went something like this...
"Dear Diary,
It is Chrissmis.
Mikel sed that Santa isint reel!
Mommy sed that Mikel is a LYER!
I like Santa. Frum, Megan"
I didn't become an avid diary keeper until the sixth grade, when I began writing almost every night. This habit continued up until recently- I find no shame in admitting that every now and again, I snuggle up under my favorite blue blanket and write before bed. Sometimes, I simply write detailed to do lists. Other times, I write everything I am thinking and feeling and update my diary on what's been happening in my life.
I have to admit, the whole idea of a diary is pretty odd to me. Does my journal really care that two months ago, my family and I went bowling for my older sisters Birthday? I highly doubt my diary has been losing sleep over it.
So why write?
Well, when you have a lot on your mind, sometimes the most helpful thing to do is to write it all down- get it all out- clear your head of the white noise so that you can, for the moment, put your mind to rest and get a good night's sleep. Other times, it's motivational- to write down your goals makes them more realistic, more final and therefore, more attainable. And sometimes, it's safer to write down what you're really thinking as opposed to babbling it out to your friends and family. Let's be real here- if everyone knew what we were really thinking or how we really felt at all times, this world would be an even scarier place.
A Diary is like your own personal history book. I have a whole tupperwear full of them! It's fun to read entries from when you were a kid or a teenager. It helps you remember things you otherwise would have forgotten, and it helps you to see how you've grown as an individual- how much you've gone through, how much you've achieved, and how much you've changed over the years.
Now, since I haven't read others diaries (aside from my sisters, who used to pick reallllly obvious places to hide them), I am going to speak for myself when I say, "WTF is up with only writing when you're feeling
sad/pissed/frustrated/psychotic?"
Something I'm becoming more and more aware of in human nature, and women in particular, is the habit of only sharing when something is WRONG. Something bad happens? We tell our family, our friends, and some of us quite frankly tell everyone and anyone. Got into a fight with your boyfriend? Call your girlfriends. Got into a fight with your parents? Tell your siblings. Got into a fight with your teacher? Tell your mother. ALL OVER THE WORLD, as I type this, women are making phone calls to share the goory details of the shitty situation that they just found themselves in! Think about it- How many times do you get phone calls because the person on the other end is freaking out?
But what about the GOOD TIMES?
Your boyfriend brings you flowers- are you on the phone a second later updating your friends and family on how wonderful he is? Nope, not usually. Why are we so quick to share the bad and so hesitant to bask in the good?
This habit undeniably translates into the art of the Diary. When we are going through something difficult, our minds seem to be restless and it's easier to vocalize (or literate) what we are feeling and writing is definitely a helpful coping mechanism. But when we are happy, our minds are more peaceful and it seems less necessary to go on a painfully long tangent of how good you feel and how all is right with the world (even if it is temporary), because that would be borderline bragging and really, who wants to do that?
THIS, my friends, is a DANGEROUS HABIT.
Your friends think your parents are nuts or your boyfriend sucks or your professor is a psychopath and you can't for the life of you figure out what made them form this opinion! And then you begin to think that they are judge mental and narrow minded...and it's ALL YOUR FAULT.
If you are a diary keeper like me, look back at your old entries. I look back at mine and think, wow, I was one sad fifteen year old. But then I notice that there are missing days, weeks and even months in between those "woe is me, my life sucks (cue the violins)" entries that were happy, sunshiney, "my life rocks!" type days.
As humans, are we more inclined to LISTEN when someone is upset? Do we on some level find it less important to be attentive when someone is happy? Are we more apt to sympathize for the bad than to celebrate the good?
It is UNDENIABLE that on some level, it is easier to relate to someone when discussing difficult situations- because as humans, we are ultimately and unavoidably faced with trials and tribulations. Sadly, though, not everyone experiences JOY in the same way and therefore, it is more challenging to relate to someone when discussing happiness.
Let's Break This Habit!
Personally, I've made a conscious effort to share the good times with my friends and family and to stop and think and ask myself "Do I really want to share this? What affect will it ultimately have on their perception of the people involved?" when it comes to tough times. And I've made a conscious effort to shape my own personal history by changing my diary habits.
I try to write a few times a week at the same time- right before bed. Not at any other time- not after a fight or argument, not after a rejection letter, not after a long day at work with a pain in the ass co worker. Now I'm not saying that it's a good idea to keep your feelings bottled up inside- but for me, it's more helpful to let the boiling pot of emotion simmer down a bit before I write about it.
The first thing I do when I write now is write down five things that I am grateful for- whether it be the coffee shop next to my work (it's the little things in life, kids) or my Mom's unconditional love.Then, I go ahead and write freely.
You might be laughing and thinking, "well, that's awfully cheesy".
But I ask you...
When you're older and you come across your diaries, do you want to look back and remember all the bad times?
Or do you want to look back at your life and remember just how beYOUtiful it really was?
I began keeping a diary in 1991. Apparently, I had tons of secrets for a six year old. I got my first diary for Christmas- It was shiny white soft plastic with hearts on the front and an industrial strength snap button that served as a lock. I remember sitting on the landing of the living room steps and writing my first entry. It went something like this...
"Dear Diary,
It is Chrissmis.
Mikel sed that Santa isint reel!
Mommy sed that Mikel is a LYER!
I like Santa. Frum, Megan"
I didn't become an avid diary keeper until the sixth grade, when I began writing almost every night. This habit continued up until recently- I find no shame in admitting that every now and again, I snuggle up under my favorite blue blanket and write before bed. Sometimes, I simply write detailed to do lists. Other times, I write everything I am thinking and feeling and update my diary on what's been happening in my life.
I have to admit, the whole idea of a diary is pretty odd to me. Does my journal really care that two months ago, my family and I went bowling for my older sisters Birthday? I highly doubt my diary has been losing sleep over it.
So why write?
Well, when you have a lot on your mind, sometimes the most helpful thing to do is to write it all down- get it all out- clear your head of the white noise so that you can, for the moment, put your mind to rest and get a good night's sleep. Other times, it's motivational- to write down your goals makes them more realistic, more final and therefore, more attainable. And sometimes, it's safer to write down what you're really thinking as opposed to babbling it out to your friends and family. Let's be real here- if everyone knew what we were really thinking or how we really felt at all times, this world would be an even scarier place.
A Diary is like your own personal history book. I have a whole tupperwear full of them! It's fun to read entries from when you were a kid or a teenager. It helps you remember things you otherwise would have forgotten, and it helps you to see how you've grown as an individual- how much you've gone through, how much you've achieved, and how much you've changed over the years.
Now, since I haven't read others diaries (aside from my sisters, who used to pick reallllly obvious places to hide them), I am going to speak for myself when I say, "WTF is up with only writing when you're feeling
sad/pissed/frustrated/psychotic?"
Something I'm becoming more and more aware of in human nature, and women in particular, is the habit of only sharing when something is WRONG. Something bad happens? We tell our family, our friends, and some of us quite frankly tell everyone and anyone. Got into a fight with your boyfriend? Call your girlfriends. Got into a fight with your parents? Tell your siblings. Got into a fight with your teacher? Tell your mother. ALL OVER THE WORLD, as I type this, women are making phone calls to share the goory details of the shitty situation that they just found themselves in! Think about it- How many times do you get phone calls because the person on the other end is freaking out?
But what about the GOOD TIMES?
Your boyfriend brings you flowers- are you on the phone a second later updating your friends and family on how wonderful he is? Nope, not usually. Why are we so quick to share the bad and so hesitant to bask in the good?
This habit undeniably translates into the art of the Diary. When we are going through something difficult, our minds seem to be restless and it's easier to vocalize (or literate) what we are feeling and writing is definitely a helpful coping mechanism. But when we are happy, our minds are more peaceful and it seems less necessary to go on a painfully long tangent of how good you feel and how all is right with the world (even if it is temporary), because that would be borderline bragging and really, who wants to do that?
THIS, my friends, is a DANGEROUS HABIT.
Your friends think your parents are nuts or your boyfriend sucks or your professor is a psychopath and you can't for the life of you figure out what made them form this opinion! And then you begin to think that they are judge mental and narrow minded...and it's ALL YOUR FAULT.
If you are a diary keeper like me, look back at your old entries. I look back at mine and think, wow, I was one sad fifteen year old. But then I notice that there are missing days, weeks and even months in between those "woe is me, my life sucks (cue the violins)" entries that were happy, sunshiney, "my life rocks!" type days.
As humans, are we more inclined to LISTEN when someone is upset? Do we on some level find it less important to be attentive when someone is happy? Are we more apt to sympathize for the bad than to celebrate the good?
It is UNDENIABLE that on some level, it is easier to relate to someone when discussing difficult situations- because as humans, we are ultimately and unavoidably faced with trials and tribulations. Sadly, though, not everyone experiences JOY in the same way and therefore, it is more challenging to relate to someone when discussing happiness.
Let's Break This Habit!
Personally, I've made a conscious effort to share the good times with my friends and family and to stop and think and ask myself "Do I really want to share this? What affect will it ultimately have on their perception of the people involved?" when it comes to tough times. And I've made a conscious effort to shape my own personal history by changing my diary habits.
I try to write a few times a week at the same time- right before bed. Not at any other time- not after a fight or argument, not after a rejection letter, not after a long day at work with a pain in the ass co worker. Now I'm not saying that it's a good idea to keep your feelings bottled up inside- but for me, it's more helpful to let the boiling pot of emotion simmer down a bit before I write about it.
The first thing I do when I write now is write down five things that I am grateful for- whether it be the coffee shop next to my work (it's the little things in life, kids) or my Mom's unconditional love.Then, I go ahead and write freely.
You might be laughing and thinking, "well, that's awfully cheesy".
But I ask you...
When you're older and you come across your diaries, do you want to look back and remember all the bad times?
Or do you want to look back at your life and remember just how beYOUtiful it really was?
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