Dear

OLD

AUNT

FLOW




*For every girl who lies in bed with a heating pad on their back and stomach and with their feet up in the air supported by pillows and a bottle of Aleve on their bed table, asking God WHY, this is for you*


Every girl's got an Aunt Flow and many of us spend 3 weeks out of the month dreading her weekly visit. I first became acquainted with my Aunt Flow back in the 8th grade. I was scared. What was happening to me? Was this normal? IS Every one's AUNT FLOW AS HORRIBLE AS MINE?

Nope, not every one'sAunt Flow reeks havoc in their lives. Some VERY LUCKY girls don't even realize when she's planning a trip! They go about their daily routines without the slightest complaint, carrying on like they have not a care in the world! I envy these women and think that they should be grateful every single day.

Unfortunately for me and for a majority of other women, Flow aint such a walk in the park:
Mind numbing cramps.
Over sensitivity.
Insatiable appetite.
Break outs.
Fatigue.
Bloating.

And in some severe cases:
Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, migraines, clotting, the urge to pee every five seconds, the inability to stand up-right because of the mind numbing cramps, the inability to sleep through the night because of the mind numbing cramps, not to mention the utter hatred for the world and life itself that kicks in for a week beforehand.

I spent years of my life suffering and feeling like every month on the same day, God was seriously testing my will to live (or my willpower to not murder everyone that crossed my path).
NO amount of Aleve (and trust me, I've taken quite a few more than the recommended dose) could lessen the pain, and no amount of mental-preparation could prepare me for what my body was going to endure. No amount of laying down with pillows piled under my feet helped. Pamprin & Midol? Pfffffff.

My older sister suffered just as much as I did, and according to my mother, she did as well until she gave birth (apparently, after you give birth, your period pain is lessened. This is what doctors say. I don't believe it. What I do believe is that after you give birth, nothing can compare pain-wise and therefore your period doesn't even phase you anymore).

At 16, my doctor recommended that I begin to use birth control as a way to deal with my horrible Aunt Flow. The only thing it did was guarantee that my bloating would be permanent and that my period would come precisely on the 11th (not the day before or after). But, I stayed on it. I decided to give it a good college-try. Until college....

At 18, I began getting my period for what seemed like weeks at a time (or more specifically, for 9-14 days with a two week break in between). IT. WAS. HORRIBLE. It seemed, to me, that the bitch control (ooops, I mean, BIRTH control), was messing my body up in ways that I never thought possible. And talk about the mental aspect of it- on birth control, I felt depressed and angry, cried over everything and really began to dislike my family, friends, and myself.

Against my doctor's wishes, I went off birth control. But the damage (that was never rectified in the first place and seemed to be worsened) was already done. When I turned 19, Aunt Flow visited more frequently and over-stayed her welcome. I was in a constant state of PMS, DMS and PostMS.
By the time I turned 20, I couldn't take it anymore. My doctor recommended that I undergo lapriscopic surgery to see if I had ENDOMETRIOSIS*link to info on endo at bottom of blog* and said that if I did indeed have this 6 syllable word for HELL ON EARTH, they would do their best to remove it during surgery.

And so into the operating room I went. What was estimated to be an hour long surgery turned into a four hour long ordeal with my parents sitting in the waiting room wondering what the hell was happening to their daughter.
Turns out, I do have endometriosis and it's pretty severe.
The doctor's did the best that they could, but there are no guarantees and no way to remove 100% of the endo. Post surgery I was put on all different sorts of hormones- a TON of them- for six months- that were supposed to trick my body into thinking I was going into menopause so that the frequency of my period would decrease. Yeah, that didn't happen. Instead, I had every adverse affect possible. I had my period for over 5 months straight (it would magically disappear when I lyed down, as if gravity were to blame). Because of the hormones, I gained weight, was irrationally angry and over sensitive, became depressed and began to lose faith in modern medicine.

It's hard to say what causes endometriosis. It was first discovered by doctor's in the 1930's, but docs haven't really been aware of it long enough to make any final conclusions/or solutions regarding it. Some doctor's say it's hereditary, other's say it's random. Some say that birth control can actually cause it (along with many other reproductive problems), others say that birth control can heal it. Some argue that all of the hormones that we put into our crops and milk are to blame, others say that bombarding your body with hormones will ultimately cure it.

Whatever the case, 5 months into my hormone induced hatred for the world, I was FED UP. I remember the day like it was yesterday- April 5th, 2006 (the day before I performed as Cherubino in Le Nozze di Figaro at college). I was in CVS buying what seemed to be my 29348947th box of tampons when I decided to take matters into my own hands- and stopped all hormone treatment that night.

The next day, Aunt Flow packed her bags and went on her merry way.
I began to get my period regularly (7-9 days with approximately 23 days in between). But the pain was still as severe as ever.

HOW WOULD I SURVIVE THE NEXT 25 YEARS OF MY LIFE?
Diet and Exercise.
Yep.
It's true.
Maybe it seems cliche, but as soon as I began to eat healthily and excercise regularly, my period pain became more manageable.
I now make a conscious effort to cut down on my sugar intake a week prior to my period. I try my very best (although it is hard to work a day job without that jolt of AM java) to decrease or eliminate my intake of caffeine a week before my period. Now that my period is regular, I begin to take 2 aleves a day for the 3 days leading up to my period.
And then,
although the pain is quite excruciating for the first day,
I brace myself and use my mind power to make it through---
I force myself to NOT lay in bed all day- to get up, go out, and get things don
Knowing that in just 24 hours the pain will subside,
and that in just a week (give or take a day or two), I will be back to feeling like my old self again.

As we mature, we get wiser, we get smarter and we get braver. No man will ever know the pain of Aunt Flow and that's because only us women are strong enough to endure it. As we mature, we learn what works and what doesn't work for us- mentally and physically. Our bodies really are our temples. Our body protects us, heals us, endures pain for us. It's important to keep in mind that when our PMS is at an all time high and our cramps are so bad we are tempted to cut our legs off, this is NOT our bodies way of retaliating against us. Our bodies are enduring for us, with us. Take care of it, and it becomes stronger and can endure even more. No one knows our own body better than ourselves. Of course it is important to trust our doctors, but it's also important to trust ourselves. If your body is trying to tell you something, learn to listen- your mind and body will be grateful that you did. It seems complicated, but it really is simple. When we listen to our bodies, we respect our bodies. And then, even when Aunt Flow pops in for a visit, life really seems to be a bit more beYOUtiful.

*http://www.aolhealth.com/conditions/endometriosis-major-1?flv=1

*disclaimer- I am not an expert on health or any health condition and am not advocating or condemning endometriosis, birth control, surgery, diet or exercise. Every body's body is different!*