JUDGEY
WUDGEY
WAS
A
BEAR

Judgement: The act or instance of judging. Judge: (verb) the act of passing judgement; To infer, think, or hold as an opinion; conclude about or assess.

No matter how much you may want to deny it, you judge. I judge. We all judge. We judge ourselves and we judge other people. Why deny it? Why does it have such a negative connotation attached to it?

Our whole lives we have been told "Don't judge a book by it's cover". But why not? There are certainly things in this world that can be judged directly by how they appear and this includes people, my friends. Now I am not saying to form a narrow minded opinion on someone based on the color of their skin, what they are wearing, their tattoos, etc. But when I'm driving down the street and I see a man who clearly hasn't showered in quite some time with a big piss stain on his pant leg falling over and then unable to get back on his feet, I think "Drunk" or "Crackhead". Anyone who has ever lived in NYC or any city, for that matter, sees this type of thing on a daily basis. Am I wrong for this?

I'm not thinking he's a BAD person, but I'm calling it like it is. But it's not nice to think someone's a drunk or a crackhead, is it? So am I better off not thinking anything of it at all? Does our ability to assess a situation and then form an opinion- usually one that will serve us well- usually one that protects us in some form or another- make us bad people, or does it make us smart? Why does Judgement have such a bad rap?

When I was 13 years old, my mother and I were waiting at the train station for an early morning ride into New York City. It was freezing cold outside and the waiting area surprisingly didn't smell of urine, so we waited in it. A few minutes passed by and a man- I would say late 20's, 31 at most- walked in. He wasn't wearing a jacket, although it was freezing. His hands were greasy and dirty looking, like he had just finished working on a car. He was wearing a hunter green long sleeved tee shirt and khaki pants and work boots. His eyes were green, his hair was blond and despite his unkempt appearance, I would say he was an attractive guy. To this day, I would recognize him if I saw him.

The minute he walked into the waiting area, which was about 18 feet by 6 feet, I had a horrible feeling about him. And when he turned around and had his penis sticking out of his pants, I KNEW I JUDGED HIM CORRECTLY.

But wait- Was it my intuition? Intuition is the ability to form an opinion or assess a situation based on feeling without any reasoning. Was it my gut that told me this guy was bad news? OR- Was it the fact that a grown man found it necessary to come and stand 4 feet away from my mother and I when there was plenty of other room? Just because I remember exactly what he looked like doesn't mean it was his physical appearance that made me JUDGE him. Am I a bad person for having assumed that there was something off about this guy?

Now, these are pretty extreme cases of judging. But every day, there are teeny tiny judgements being formulated in our over stimulated minds.

You see someone driving a Bentley- you automatically think they have a lot of money.

You see a 400lb man eating a donut- you automatically think he's unlhealthy and probably eats a lot of donuts.

A landscaping truck passes by and is screaming and whistling at every woman in sight- you automatically think they are disgusting men, and probably Mexican. Yep, I said it. What I didn't say was that Mexican men were disgusting so don't go twisting my words! This judgement is based on the fact that since early childhood, I have observed that most of the landscapers in my area are of Mexican decent and most of them hoot and holler at every woman in sight. Am I so bad for having the brain power to formulate and opinion based on observation? When I say it like that, it sounds acceptable, doesn't it? But when I say that is my JUDGEMENT, it sounds horrible!

As a woman, judging and being judged is a huge part of every day life. Next time you are in a busy neighborhood doing some people watching, observe how many women check out other women. Are they checking them out in a sexual way because they are gay? Well, that remains to be seen. Most of the time though, women are assesing other women- comparing their bodies to their own, checking out each other's outfits, etc. Yep Ladies, we judge ourselves by judging others. Isn't that terrible? I myself automatically check out every girls boobs that I see- not in a sexual way- But because I am so self conscious about my own boob size, I check out everyone elses! I'm not ashamed. And I'm not ashamed to say that if I see a woman walking down the street with a tissue sized dress on and her boobs popping out, I judge her. Just like I judge a man walking down the street in skin tight pants and a hot pink floral top. Yep, I judge him, too. When we say we judge, though, it sounds so harsh. Just because you JUDGE someone or something doesn't mean you decide their ultimate fate- like we have been told good old God will. Read the definition of judgement and judge at the top of this page. There doesn't seem to be anything negative about it. So why does society want us to think we suck for judging?

As you read this, you are judging, judging, judging. You see typos and poor grammar- you judge my writing. You read and decide whether or not you can relate to my examples or candid honesty, and you judge my personality for it and therefore assess how well we could personally relate to each other. Isn't it true?

The important thing to know about judgement and judging is that there is a very fine line between forming an opinion and projecting your own personal opinion on others.

So I'd never leave the house in a tissue sized dress with my boobs (or lack-there-of) popping out. Does this mean someone who would is any better or any worse than I am? Nope. It just means we have a different idea of what is acceptable and what isn't FOR OURSELVES.

Being able to judge has gotten me out of some pretty scary situations. And it's gotten me into some pretty awesome ones. Being able to judge leads us to make every single decision that we make. Let us judge and be judged and let's be honest about it and own it. Trust your intuition. Make observations. Judge how you see fit and be your own person. Have an opinion! And just beYOUtiful.